Grey world

Four straight days of constant rain. I can't take it anymore. If the sun doesn't come out tomorrow, I might give up completely. Who can be optimistic about anything when surrounded by grey? It's so depressing. I can sing in the rain for a day or two, but after four I'm ready to cry.

A new approach

The last few days have been rough. I did go to the circus which was so much fun. But I was struggling a lot with dance and with relationship problems. Today I worked through both of these in my head and found clarity and optimism from a surprising source--sports analogies. Stay with me here. (You can always leave a comment after you're done reading to let me know I'm crazy.)
Dance first. It's really hard to get back into dance after years of no classes. It's worth it though, or so I kept telling myself every time I didn't want to go back. One problem is that I don't like doing things that I'm not good at. Especially not in front of other people. And especially not when I used to be good at them. The other problem is that I'm not getting that feeling of absolute joy that I long for, because I'm thinking too much and focusing on my mistakes. Then I thought about golf. I'm not very good at that, but after an abyssmal round I'm always happy as long as I hit one great shot. That's the ultimate feeling, and it makes 135 painfully bad shots completely worthwhile. From now on, I will leave class focusing on the moments where everything felt right.
Now relationships. During one of the really disappointing ALCS games (yes the Yankees were already knocked out :-( but I was hoping to see Boston lose), one of the announcers talked about a batter being caught between pitches. That's how things have been lately. Behind the fastball and out in front of the change up. Missed signs, hit batters and strike-outs all over the place. I've come close to throwing in the towel, but I still want to win. So I'll stand in there again, and you can bet I won't strike out looking.

Strange day

My days are rarely boring, but today was especially interesting. Here's what happened:

A man drove by the house on a lawnmower like something out of a Vince Gill song. (Yes, I know most of you have never heard the song or even of Vince, but I'm sure you'll agree it's strange anyway.)

Joe Torre gave his final press conference as the Yankees manager. Wrong in so many ways.

Twenty or so people (teenagers I'm sure) completely covered in shaving cream ran by the children and I as we were standing in front of the stables in the park. Hands down the oddest thing I've seen in a long time.

Riahna said a prayer before dinner. Yes, many people pray before eating, but not us. Apparently her teacher taught her the prayer. I'll be speaking to her and the head of the preschool on Monday. I'm accepting of other people's beliefs and customs as long as they are not forced upon my children in what is supposed to be a secular school. Then I'm angry.

I can't wait to see what happens tomorrow.

A question of respect

I have been told that I should have some respect for George Bush because he is my President. Well, I don't. And I refuse to consider him MY President anyway, seeing as I certainly didn't vote for him and can't understand why anyone did. TWICE!!! I will refrain from listing his deficiencies and simply point out that he shows little respect for the Constitution, the will of the American people, or anyone who believes that changing one's mind doesn't make one weak. In his press conference today, he trashed Congress, refused to answer most of the questions, and attempted to inspire trust by saying "This isn't my first rodeo." It's a wonder that this country has lost respect in the eyes of the world.

I'm tired

5 things

...that I've recently discovered make me smile
banana pudding
Shia LaBeouf
bucket swings
Ipex wireless
fried corn on the cob

...that have made me angry in the last week
William
Riahna
Julien
the Yankees
Rudy Giuliani

...that everyone should do
recycle
support gay rights
vote
eat organic food
visit Memphis :-)

Dirty Sexy Money

The best new show on television. Also the only new show that I have bothered to watch, but it's so good that it must be the best. It's interesting, funny, well written, well edited, and it has a Baldwin. If you're not from Massapequa you probably won't care about that; in fact most people who are don't care about it either, but apparently I do. The other thing the show has is Peter Krause. Great actor from Six Feet Under and Sports Night who could probably make any show worth watching. So check it out. I have no idea when or what channel it's on because I have taken back control of my schedule from the television by using the DVR and watching at my leisure. Brilliant invention.

One of the perks

There are many great things about having children. Many people will say that the best is that they love you unconditionally. While that is true, I'd like to think that most people that I have a true friendship with love me unconditionally. I've certainly found that my friends are much more forgiving and accepting than my family, although even my mother seems to be mellowing as of late. So the love from my children, although sweet and wonderful and certainly not taken for granted, is not the most unique gift that they give to me. What is? The fact that I can spend much of my time playing, being silly, singing and dancing in supermarkets, and running around playgrounds without anyone thinking that I'm weird. I am, of course, but I don't want everyone to know. Just you guys. Everyone else can just see me as a really good mother.

My problem with Hillary

I can't seem to get on board with Hillary for President. It's not that she's not capable and certainly not that she's a woman, and it would be great to have Bill Clinton back in the White House, but there's something about her I just don't like. Yes, it's partially superficial. She's just not likable. Everyone says that she's better in person, and I did like her when I met her at the White House in 1996. If she does become our fearless leader, I'll have to convince Sam to give me the picture that we took with her. But I digress. I've been bothered by something every time I watch a debate, and I finally figured out what it is: She quite often refuses to answer the moderator's question. The reason she gives is that she refuses to deal in hypotheticals, and that's a total copout. But it's also really hypocritical, because when she does feel like answering, she invariably begins with "When I am President..." Did I miss something? Does a 30-point lead in national primary polls now translate into a guaranteed win the general election? If her chosen stand is going to be avoiding hypotheticals, perhaps she should be a little more consistent.

Man Up

This is my new favorite expression, although it's difficult for me to say with a straight face. Even in the ideal situation where it's absolutely warranted, I descend into giggles shortly after uttering the words. But I'll keep trying, because it so clearly and concisely tells someone to do the two things that are severely lacking in our society: (1) Take responsibility for your own actions and (2) Don't back down or shy away from something you want or have to do (in other words...grow some balls). There will always be excuses and procrastinating, but at some point enough is enough and action must be taken. I'm not suggesting that it be taken lightly, because one must be able to look back and defend it, but I'm so sick and tired of people who are unhappy with their lives and do nothing about it except blame other people or situations. Do I ever feel this way about myself? Of course. I'll give you one guess what I tell myself at that point. That's when I laugh the most.