Things I've learned

You can’t control whether or not somebody will love you. Either they will or they won’t, and both are okay.

I don’t want to fast forward through the bad times; I would never learn anything about myself and grow as a person.

Having happiness as your goal in life isn’t silly; being happy gives you strength to do everything else you need to do.

Manipulating people can make you feel smart and powerful, but eventually it makes you feel stupid and small.

Withholding forgiveness really does only hurt you.

Believing you know everything just makes you ignore ideas and advice that could really help you.

There is a perfect song for every situation and emotion. Music can get you through anything.

If you get an idea in your head and believe it to be absolute truth, sometimes you close yourself off to reality. Convincing yourself something is true doesn’t mean it is.

Avoiding things usually makes them harder.

Thinking about something can be a powerful tool, an unhealthy obsession, or a complete waste of time depending on what the something is.

If you walk by something on the floor fifty times and are annoyed that it’s there every time, maybe you should just pick it up and put it where it goes.

Taking one day at a time

A basic survival tool, but a good one. It works. Something I am quite thankful for at this time in my life, as it makes the overwhelming temporarily manageable. I really don't recommend simultaneous emotional and physical trials...in fact, it sucks. But I think that focusing on just getting through the day and taking strength from the remaining good things will see me through to the other side. At least that's the plan. :-)

Lapses in writing

Sometimes there is no much happening in my life that I can't manage to think of a single thing to say.

Last minute packing

To do: 10 loads of laundry, all the packing, find my license, get house and cat ready for us being gone

Already done:

Random collection of thoughts

Riahna looks so adorable getting on and off the school bus. Such a big girl.

I'm really enjoying having time every day where just Julien is home with me. That's something you don't always get with the second child.

For my sanity, I need this election to be over. Hasn't it been going on forever? Of course, it would need to end the way I want it to, otherwise my sanity will be in question for a very long time.

Disney World in 9 days!

Allergies suck.

Life would be a sad sad exercise without music and dance.

It's Britney, Bitch

It's official...Britney will be opening the VMA's again this year. After last year's train wreck, I'm surprised they're giving her another chance. She'd better be brilliant. Something tells me she won't disappoint.

UPDATE: Whatever. That didn't count as opening the show. Total false advertising. I was happy to see her win though.

Happiness in song

Amy MacDonald - This is the life


Passenger - Night vision binoculars (Walk you home)

My poor eyes

Two weeks of the Olympics and now the Democratic Convention and US Open, plus a disgusting amount of hours every day on the computer. My eyes are starting to hate me. I don't think it's the TV so much as the computer because of all the reading. Erg. Maybe I should get a job as a park ranger or something. Any suggestions or helpful hints?

UPDATE: Convention is over (it was amazing!) and I'm only watching the Open here and there. There's no getting away from hours every day on the computer, but I'm trying to spend as much of my non-computer time outside as possible. So far, my eyes are thanking me. :-)

Olympics

I always look forward to watching them and then spend many hours doing just that. It's wonderful to see the whole world come together for a common purpose, and it's incredible to see the best athletes in every sport from every country competing against each other. Phelps blew everybody out of the water, making history in the process, and Bolt practically jogged across the finish line in the 100 meters, so far ahead of the other fastest men in the world that he seemed superhuman. But so far my favorite athlete to watch has been Roger Federer. Yes, he got knocked out early in singles. But to see him playing doubles with fellow Swiss Wawrinka was a treat. He was like a little boy running, jumping and rolling around the court. He was so excited about winning, and it was so much fun to watch. Can't wait to see what happens in the second week.

Change

I've learned this week that it's easier to be the one moving away than the one left behind. Being someone who understands the need to experience new places doesn't make it any easier; emotions aren't logical like that. But one never knows what the future holds in store, and there is always a silver lining. Change is ultimately always good, however painful it seems in the moment.

wow

Amazing. You've got to love a story like this. Still, I can't help but think that it would be scary to have a lion come running and jumping at you, even if you knew him.

Seriously?

I'm now mentoring my third teen, and every now and then my mentor liaison emails suggestions for activities. Usually they are good ones, but today's was for the following event:

Between the Church and the Cemetery: 19th Century Mourning Customs and Clothing--a special display of mourning clothes and customs in recognition of Memphis' most devastating event, the 1878 Yellow Fever epidemic.

I certainly have no interest in seeing that and can't imagine any teenage boy being excited about it either. There's nothing fun about death, and even if it's not all about fun, there's certainly more relevant things to learn about. I think we'll skip this one.

JibJab

Fun, fun, fun. Add the heads of unsuspecting friends and family to crazy dancing bodies, then sit back and laugh. Click here to check it out.

Perfect song

Talking in code

Lots of times there's something on my mind that I really don't feel like talking about or can't quite figure out how to phrase, but there's still the urge to let somebody know that there's something going on. That somebody is usually DeWayne because he's really good at not asking questions. He will only ever ask why I'm bringing it up if I don't feel like talking, then tell me how silly I am and let me babble generalities. One of the things I love most about him. Other people would try to push me to say more or attempt to give advice. I don't want advice. I want to figure things out for myself and then talk about everything in the past tense. It's easier that way.

Some days just weren't meant to be good

Neither child napped today. That in and of itself is usually enough to constitute a bad day. But there was also the fit about what shirt to wear, the playing in the toilet (after using and before flushing...my personal favorite), and lots of general bratty behavior. On top of that, I couldn't find my racerback bra, forgot to do something that I really needed to, and sat in something sticky. Escaping to the park usually works on days such as this, but today I was greeted by the man who is getting a divorce because his wife decided she likes women. He was much too happy to see me and remembered all of our names. The words "Help me" scrolled pitifully across my brain. I was supposed to go dancing tonight which would have made all of this seem trivial, but my friend cancelled this morning. grrr. I realize that things could be a lot worse than this, but right now I'm just happy the day is almost over.

When I grow up...

I wanna be famous. Just kidding--Pussycat Dolls' song is stuck in my head. I've never been able to finish this thought with a specific dream or goal. Vague generalities I'm pretty good at. Perhaps I've always lacked focus due to my parents telling me that I could do and be anything I wanted. Or maybe the idea of committing to only one thing doesn't quite work for me. Not having a plan has served me well so far. I think I'll just promise myself that if I ever come up with one, I'll stop at nothing to make it reality.

Life is funny

Every time I think I have it all figured out, here comes another curve ball. And lately, even when I get hit right in the face, things have worked out much better than expected. Maybe it's the result of a positive attitude or paying it forward; maybe it's just dumb luck. Either way, I'm not going to question it. Sometimes the best thing that can happen is to get smacked in the face.

Baruch Dayan HaEmet

Joseph Fisher--my great uncle and a true gentleman who always made me feel like the most special person in the world. He will be missed.

Soul meets body

I'd like to live where soul meets body too; maybe I could catch a cab there.